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Dark Ranters Presents: Top Ten Darkest Episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Part 1
With GearsX and ImpulsiveSpidercide

GearsX: Bronies and Pegasisters, welcome. This is GearsX clockin' in and . . .

ImpulsiveSpidercide: ImpulsiveSpidercide, ready to hit you with a dose of darkness!

GearsX: After reviewing the apocalyptic abomination that was School Days, we need to talk about something good again and we're doing something a little different too. Cartoon shows are known to be very family-friendly but there are times where cartoons will tread into dark toned waters. I'm talking about cartoons discussing issues without becoming overly preachy PSAs that moral guardians try to force down kids' throats, evil almost triumphing over good, and characters trying to overcome their personal problems. There were even times where cartoons discuss the topic of death. I've seen shows that went dark like Swat Kats, TMNT, The Real Ghostbusters, Legend of Korra, and Avatar: The Last Airbender. These shows aren't afraid to push the envelope when comes to personal issues and dark themes but still keep it within family-friendly boundaries. Even live action kids show Power Rangers went dark at times.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Indeed. The standout examples in Power Rangers are In Space (where the Red Ranger is the sole survivor of a colony taken over and decimated by the villains and his sister is a manipulated and later brainwashed agent of said villains), Lost Galaxy (which two-part opening ends with a planet being frozen in stone along with its population and has an anti-hero who won't let collateral damage or innocent bystanders get in the way of his revenge on the villains, and even has as a major part of the finale suicide bombers targeting the space colony ship the Rangers protect), Time Force (which opens with the Red Ranger being killed by the main villain and then goes on to deal with issues of genetic engineering-induced racism and a futile cycle of hate and revenge being a major motivator for many of the villains' actions, and even the heroes aren't perfect, as the team leader is initially motivated by revenge for the murdered Red Ranger who was her fiancé and the sixth Ranger becomes a Ranger chiefly for self-advancement, not to do good), Wild Force (where the main villain murdered the Red Ranger's parents out of jealousy that the Red Ranger's mother had chosen the Red Ranger's father over himself), and RPM (which, even if in a different continuity from the rest of Power Rangers, still has most of the human race being wiped out by an A.I. gone bad that forcibly infects any surviving humans it captures with a nanotech virus that slowly converts them into machines enslaved to itself, not to mention all the protagonists are haunted by war and death, to varying degrees of responsibility or guilt). Yeah, that was a long one, I understand, but I really had to make the point that even "kids' shows" can do darker stuff than what the parents' groups would usually like their kids seeing.

GearsX: I know all of you would be asking, "What does this have to do with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?" Much like the shows I've mentioned, My Little Pony has its share of dark episodes and episodes with dark moments. The Mane Six would face very difficult situations and try their best to solve them. Let's come together, fellow bronies and pegasisters, and be prepared as I say in a booming voice: This is THE TOP TEN DARKEST EPISODES OF MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC! Originally, we were gonna do this countdown in honor of the fifth season premiere but didn't get around to it due to chronic laziness.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Chronic laziness and life fucking with us.

GearsX: These episodes will be from the first four seasons and we're gonna break this down into two parts. We're gonna build this up from the episodes' darkest moments to the darkest episodes of the show. Let's get started.

No. 10: Party of One. While not a dark episode in and of itself, there is a dark moment where Pinkie Pie goes nuts and gets really angry at her friends. So much so, she throws a party with inanimate objects as her guests.

ImpulsiveSpidercide:  It's because they're avoiding her for some reason and making lame excuses for it, so she feels like they don't want to be around her anymore. And that's when we see that Pinkie isn't a very emotionally healthy pony, in the sense that she's dependent on having people like and want to be around her, which is why she's so constantly cheerful and energetic. So when she feels like they don't want to be around her anymore . . .

GearsX: She goes crazy.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah.

GearsX: It seemed like Pinkie wanted to commit acts of homicide on the others which spawned a really stupid internet meme.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Cupcakes?

GearsX: Yeah, that one. She had no idea they were planning a birthday party for her.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, which was what they really wanted to do, and they were keeping it a surprise. They just avoided her because they didn't want to accidentally spill the beans if she asked hard enough.

GearsX: She did come to her senses and was overjoyed about her friends giving her a birthday party.

No. 9: Bridle Gossip. Again, while not a dark episode in and of itself, there's a dark moment where Ponyville becomes scared of Zecora because they think she's this scary voodoo witch doctor.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Which also turns out to be a fine lesson in the perils of prejudice and assuming things about people before you actually get to know them.

GearsX: Twilight and the others ventured into this field of flowers and they began to experience mysterious problems. They got angry at Zecora because they thought she cursed them. Not to mention they assumed she ponynapped Apple Bloom to eat her or something. How did the Mane Six get "cursed"?

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Well, it's a long series of very unfortunate accidents and coincidences.

GearsX: Turned out they were exposed to a blue flower called Poison Joke. Here's what happened: Twilight's horn went limp and got covered in blue zits, Rainbow Dash became clumsy at flying, Pinkie Pie's tongue was also covered in blue zits and she had to spit in order to talk, Rarity had dreadlocks, Fluttershy spoke in a deep voice, and Applejack became a tiny walking alcoholic reference.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Deep-voiced Fluttershy was surprising to hear. Rarity with dreadlocks? Eh, with some of her usual style, she could totally work them. Twilight Sparkle's horn went limp? There's an obvious joke.

GearsX: Dick joke aside, the Mane Six were cured as they and Ponyville learned it's not cool to jump to conclusions about anyone or anypony of different ethnic background.

No. 8: Lesson Zero. Twilight Sparkle and Spike do a series of errands and she has to turn over a friendship report to Celestia. But here's the problem, she has nothing to report.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Which was kind of meant to address the whole "edutainment" genre that MLP: FIM initially fit into. The idea that every episode had to be capped with a summation of a valuable life lesson, as learned by Twilight in her quest to understand friendship.

GearsX: Her penchant for problem-solving actually caused her to have a mental breakdown.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: So if she couldn't find a problem to solve, she'd make one!

GearsX: By casting a spell on her old doll, Smartypants, and causing everypony to go gaga over that ratty toy like it was the next entry in the Pokémon series. Very unbecoming of a princess, Twilight.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: She wasn't a princess yet.

GearsX: My point still stands, though. Luckily, Princess Celestia showed up to clean up Twilight Sparkle's mess before everypony could kill each other over that doll. Of course, Big Macintosh got to keep Smartypants all to himself. Even descended into madness and looking disheveled, Twilight Sparkle was still cute.  

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, you'd wanna snuggle her up and get her somewhere warm and comfy if you weren't completely put off by the crazy eyes.

GearsX:  Celestia did get upset and gave Twilight a stern lecture about causing a problem just to solve it.  Lesson learned: write a friendship report when there's something to write about.

No. 7: Magic Duel. Trixie Lulamoon returns for revenge on Twilight for exposing her as a braggart and a fraud. She buys a powerful amulet filled with dark magic. The Alicorn Amulet, as it’s called, grants Trixie more powerful magic than she’s ever had on her own, but it is also slowly corrupting her. She challenges the unicorn student to a contest of magic and Twilight loses. She gets the boot and goes to Zecora for help. Twilight learns about the Alicorn Amulet and uses the only magic to get Trixie to remove the demonically powerful necklace: deception. Like I said before in the Princess Twilight Special, she would've been a excellent criminal mastermind.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Uh-huh. She definitely would've, and in the meantime, the Alicorn Amulet-corrupted Trixie has turned Ponyville into her personal dictatorship, with all sorts of irrational new orders and edicts. Oh, and abusing her helpers Snips and Snails.

GearsX: Oh, They deserved it for being so stupid. Trixie would show remorse for her actions and stuck around to do a magic show for Celestia and the delegates from Saddle Arabia before disappearing. And finally, we get to last part of the countdown. Which episode gets the sixth spot? Here we go.

No. 6 is . . . Luna Eclipsed. This episode isn't just dark because it's Halloween-themed. Why is this episode dark?

ImpulsiveSpidercide:  Because we see just how much of a toll Luna's evil self, Nightmare Moon, took on her and on Equestria.

GearsX: Guess some ponies in Ponyville still didn't forgive the beautiful princess of the night for the atrocities and chaos she caused back in the first episode of the first season. Since she was banished to the moon all those years ago, Luna was out of touch with modern-day Equestria with her mannerisms. Shouting when addressing the citizens of Ponyville and saying "we." Even Pinkie Pie and her small band of trick-or-treaters being constantly frightened didn't help matters either.  

ImpulsiveSpidercide: And it didn't help when Pinkie turned out to be pretending to be frightened in the spirit of the holiday, but that pretense of fright just cemented it for Luna that she would never be forgiven or accepted by her former subjects.

GearsX: Luna was so pissed off about it, she permabanned Nightmare Night, which got a lot of ponies upset.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, and guess who talked her out of it.

GearsX: Twilight Sparkle.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yep, which would establish a pattern for the series to follow in future episodes, especially when Twilight became a Princess of Equestria herself.

GearsX: And Pipsqueak did convince Luna to come back to scare everyone the following year. He and the other kids gave her all their candy. Luna learned Nightmare Night was about tricks and treats. Luna even pranked Rainbow Dash toward the end.

This concludes part one of our top ten countdown of MLP's darkest episodes. In part two, we cover spots five through one plus five honorable mentions. Which dark episode will be number one? Stay tuned and find out, Bronies and Pegasisters. This is GearsX clockin' out and in the words of Razorfist, "God-fuckin'-speed!"

ImpulsiveSpidercide: And ImpulsiveSpidercide, signing off with a "Hell, yeah, ponies!"
Top Ten Darkest Episodes of My Little Pony, part 1
For a little something different, Spidercide and myself decided to do a top ten countdown of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic's darkest episodes and darkest moments. This is something probably never been done before but do enjoy.
On the Rainbow Road: A Tribute to Satoru Iwata.

I know I'm a little late on this one but I have to talk about it. A few weeks ago, the gaming industry lost an icon. Satoru Iwata, president of Nintendo, died the age of 55. He worked in the video game industry for most of his life. Iwata-san helped form Hal Laboratory Inc., a video game developer responsible for popular games like the Kirby series, the Mother series or Earthbound as the game is called here in the states, and the Super Smash Bros. series.

From then on, he would work with Nintendo. Iwata-san worked on games such as Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong, Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, and more recently, Splatoon. In the early 2000s, Iwata became president and CEO of Nintendo. He certainly came a long way from a programer to president in twenty years time. During his tenure as the man in charge, he improved sales of the Gamecube by halting production of the console and reducing the price tag, innovated gaming with motion controls and touchscreens with the Wii and DS, came up with digital avatars called Miis, put the spotlight on Luigi in honor of his 30th anniversary, and introduced the Amiibo toyline to the world. He even did a series of video press conferences called Nintendo Direct where he and other Nintendo employees would announce upcoming games and products.    

Satoru made huge contributions to the video game industry over the last decade and I thank him for that. It is a real shame he died at a young age and where Nintendo will go from there is unknown right now. Both gamers and the video game industry mourned his passing and I am sad too about Iwata-san's untimely death. At GDC in 2005, Satoru once said: "On my business card, I am a corporate president. In my mind, I am a game developer. But in my heart, I am a gamer." No truer words had ever been spoken by a great man, please understand. Satoru, I just wanna say thank you for your contributions and your compassion for the business. You're a wonderful human being and you'll be deeply missed. May you travel the Rainbow Road to the Sky Blue Palace in the stars.
On The Rainbow Road: A Tribute to Satoru Iwata
I know I'm late but I wanted to write a tribute blog about Satoru Iwata. He passed away a few weeks ago and it was a sad day for both gamers and the video game industry.

Satoru Iwata


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Dark Ranters Reviews: School Days

With ImpulsiveSpidercide and GearsX

Part 2

Warning: This review contains foul language, pure uncontained rage, and disturbing and sexual references. Reader discretion is advised.

GearsX: Hello, everyone. This is GearsX clockin' in and got the claws ready to shred...

ImpulsiveSpidercide: And ImpulsiveSpidercide, with the game switched on and the knives ready to come out.

GearsX: Previously in our School Days review, Makoto has changed his name to Creepy McNumbnuts, Sekai is in the process of becoming a manipulative shithead, and Kotonoha will soon become a mentally decayed trainwreck.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yes. The horror. The absolute fucking horror.

GearsX:  Spoilers! In part two, we're gonna rain down the pain on episodes five through eight and the rage is really beginning to take over now. Let's begin the beautiful pillage and plunder of School Days. Pillage and plunder! Burn! Burn! Burn!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: And no rape, unlike that asshole.

GearsX: Episode five begins with another blatant shot of fanservice. Makoto and his best friend, Taisuke Sawanaga, being their usual peeping tom selves. I'm sorry if I didn't mention Taisuke in the first part but I'll talk about him right now. He's Makoto's best friend and like our "protagonist," he too is a pervert and he commits rape later on in the series.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yes. He does. Any more will be spoiling it right now.

GearsX: This anime deserves to be spoiled, that's how bad this shitheap really is. Makoto is still thinking about Sekai's slip of the tongue into his mush then we get a close of Taisuke's speedo bulge. Really classy, anime. This episode takes place at a water park as I fail to mention.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah. Fanservice galore. Yay. Sarcasm fully intended.

GearsX: Get ready for more spoon fed fanservice as we enter the girls' locker room.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah.

GearsX: This leads to a scene where Sekai is touching her...all right, I'm skipping this scene because I have more respect for our audience and I'm no pedophile. Going back to the school in a flashback, Makoto shows Sekai one of the tickets he got from Kotonoha for the water park. Hikari shows up and she has a ticket, too. Makoto says Hikari must be interested in him which leads to him getting his brains bashed in. She wants him to give one of the water park tickets to Taisuke. Yeah, Hikari has the hots for him.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, though I don't see why. Then again, considering most of the girls want to get into Makoto's pants, maybe good taste and judgment are just generally in short supply in this anime.

GearsX: To these girls, high standards are for idiots. We get another boring exposition dump between Makoto and Taisuke. Also, Taisuke getting his boner on while talking about Kotonoha in a two-piece. Next scene!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, I think I'm gonna be sick.

GearsX: More blatant fanservice! Taisuke being a creepy retard! Makoto being a creepy retard! More unfunny hijinks!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah.

GearsX: Hikari asks Taisuke to teach her how to swim and he accepts her offer. She drags him away and we get another close-up of his bulge. Ready to blow chunks yet?

After some more blatant fanservice shots, Makoto teaches Kotonoha how to swim and we get a close-up of her boobs. I don't wanna sound perverted but I would rather have a look at Kotonoha's titties than get another pointless look at Taisuke's speedo cock one more time.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Same here, frankly.

GearsX: Her swim lesson goes well while Makoto begins to get bored. She slips on a slippery spot in the pool and hugs her boyfriend. Makoto hugs Kotonoha tighter to just have her boobies pressed against him while Sekai looks on. Makoto, I seriously want to smash your fucking head on the concrete until it's a pulp of brain meat and pieces of skull!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Same here.

GearsX: Hikari seems to be having fun while Taisuke is getting all pissy about teaching her how to swim after they gone down the water slide. Setsuna shows and crash lands on the perverted retard. Next scene! Makoto takes a break from swimming while Kotonoha is taking a bathroom break. Sekai shows up to tease Makoto. Makoto wants to "practice" with Sekai some more all the while grabbing her ass. She keeps saying it's just "practice" and that's it. Yeah, you keep saying that, Sekai. You know goddamn well you wanna ride his dolphin. Of course, Makoto complements on Sekai's swimsuit and it may seem harmless, but is it?

ImpulsiveSpidercide: No, not really, considering they're carrying on an affair behind Kotonoha's back because Kotonoha won't put out.

GearsX: But that won't happen until later on. This scene is beginning to drag, so I'll sum it up like this: Makoto being all creepy about Sekai and she asks him about dating Kotonoha, who returns from her piss break. The class have some lunch together and go back for a swim after a half-hour. Makoto teaches Kotonoha to swim some more while Taisuke is getting jealous of his best friend.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Because he wants Kotonoha for himself. And we both know where this leads.

GearsX: Spoiler again, he rapes her! They all get into another dry exposition dump about how Sekai likes Makoto and all that shit. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, this is getting boring!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm looking forward to the parts where everyone starts dying.

GearsX: And we get yet another close-up of Taisuke's speedo cock for the third time! All right, producers, are you seriously obsessed with this dude's junk!?

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Maybe they are.

GearsX: After a day at the water park, everyone is getting ready to leave. Kotonoha wants to set up another date with Makoto for Sunday because her little sister wants to see him again. Makoto reluctantly agrees to go. The girls show up and the jackass asks what took them so long. Sekai gets pissed off and drags Makoto away for yet another chat. She keeps telling him time and time and time again he is dating Kotonoha but it's still not sinking in.

Man, Makoto, you are such a pompous little fuckball. You are dating the hottest girl in school and you're letting your cock do all the thinkin'. Everyone goes home, Makoto takes the train to meet with Sekai, finally confess their feelings to each other, and da end for this episode. That was terrible! We still get the same goddamn problems from the first four episodes and we got too many crotch shots from Taisuke! I'm feelin' it, ladies and germs. The rage is coming to the surface. I can really feel it. You're not making this easier for us, anime. Oh, no, you're not.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Well, if you're gonna Hulk out . . .

GearsX: You wanna know what the worst part is? Makoto bangs Sekai!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Well, fuck.

GearsX: Makoto has now become a Jersey Shore-level douche ass. He could've told Kotonoha he wanted to date someone else but no, Makoto hates all things logic.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah. Douchebag motherfucker. I'm sorry I'm not more eloquent than this, but that's the best I can come up with to sum him up.

GearsX: Let's save the rage later. Let's move on to episode six. At the beginning of this episode, Makoto and Sekai make out at her job. Good way to get yourself fired and that's real sanitary, too, sarcasm. Once again, she keeps saying they are just practicing. (That's starting to get old now.) We all know where their mommy-daddy dance in that last scene will lead to later on.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yes. Exactly.

GearsX: Then at the Katsura house, Kotonoha tries to get ahold of Makoto but he doesn't pick up.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Because he's too busy fucking around with Sekai.

GearsX: And just plain ignoring her too. This is the first sign of poor Kotonoha becoming mentally destroyed by her cheating beau. Makoto and his new lover hug each other before heading off to school. Kotonoha boards the train with Makoto. He ain't too happy seeing her on the train. She tries to talk to him but he's being an arrogant asshole to her.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, because he's pissed at her for not giving it up to him, which is perfectly logical and reasonable given what an inconsiderate douchebag he is.

GearsX: To him, taking it slow is for dumbasses. Sekai arrives at the school and was about to enter homeroom when Makoto shows up. During class, she tells him they should let his girlfriend know that they are seeing each other but Makoto doesn't wanna do the right thing. On the roof, Makoto, Kotonoha, and Sekai have a nice cup of hot lemonade. They talk about the hot lemonade and who really the fuck cares?

During history class, Makoto gets a text from Kotonoha for an afterschool shopping trip but he makes up the excuse that his sister is coming to town. Lying is not cool, you dipshit! He lies to her so he can spend more time with Sekai. How pathetic. Kotonoha does her shopping while Makoto and Sekai get off the train. As her train stops, Kotonoha sees them about to make out on the train station platform. Another sign of her sanity slowly swirling down the shitter.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah. It only gets worse from here.

GearsX: Kotonoha is waiting on Makoto to walk with her but he once again LIES to her through text. Makoto shows up and she gets all excited but Katou shows up. They say good morning to each other and Makoto goes on his merry little way. Katou stares at Kotonoha until she gets a call from Minami.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, bad shit is coming.

GearsX: On the roof, Kotonoha tries to talk with Makoto and Sekai but his head is so far up his ass, he's enjoying his own stink and his mistress being all depressed. In class, there's talks of an upcoming school festival and what theme they should go with. As Makoto meets up with Sekai, he received a text message from her to go home together and Sekai suggested it. Makoto and Kotonoha walk home together as she received a flyer for a couples' discount on cell phones. She offers him a cell phone but he turns her down. Kotonoha trips to the ground as her yarn and knitting needles spill over. Apparently, she was knitting herself a sweater or a scarf. At Sekai's place, Setsuna leaves as her friend receives a text from Makoto. She feels really bad for sleeping with Kotonoha's boyfriend. Kotonoha calls Makoto again and he ignores her.  

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Wow, douchebag.

GearsX: I'm just about ready to tear him a new asshole.  The school festival planning commences as Taisuke tosses around dumb suggestions and Setsuna rejects them all. Katou and her friends discuss who is taking her to the school festival and then decide to pick on Kotonoha. Of course, Katou has the hots for Makoto but denies it. Kotonoha declares she's Makoto’s "the one" and that pisses Katou off.    

Spoilers: Makoto bangs Katou not once but twice! Dunking her doughnuts! Stuffing her like a turkey!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah. We get it. We get it.

GearsX: Then we get a montage of text messages going around about Kotonoha dating Makoto then we see Setsuna watching Makoto and Sekai leave homeroom. Kotonoha finishes her meeting early and heads to the roof. Makoto wants a quickie with Sekai but she doesn't wanna do that right now. Dammit, you cock-knocker, she said no! As Kotonoha was about to meet up with her boyfriend on the roof, she heard Sekai say “I love you” to Makoto very loudly.

That's it, the kid gloves are coming off! I can't hold this in any longer! Makoto, you are a womanizing sack of horseshit! You had the hots for Kotonoha since day one but you decided to throw her under the bus for Sekai!? Are you goddamn kiddin' me!? Kotonoha loved you and you were bangin' around right behind her back! You could've told her you wanted to date Sekai and maybe stay friends with your soon be ex-girlfriend, that would be the smart and right thing to do! Oh, wait, I completely forgot you hate doing the smart and right thing! You're making us guys look real bad, you rat-faced dick weasel! Who do you think you are!? Who the fuck do you think you are!? Are you that hellbent on destroying your girlfriend's life, Sekai's life, and all the lives of the girls you were humping!?

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, all that and then some. And too little, too late for Sekai!

GearsX: I can't wait to see you get what's comin' to you, asshole! So fuck you and fuck everything you stand for! You don't deserve to go to Hell because that place is too good for you!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yes. They need a whole new level for him to be tortured for eternity in.

GearsX: Hot damn! That felt good! That's it for episode six. What I said has pretty much described all the feelings I had toward that episode. Moving on to episode seven. On the roof of the school, Kotonoha has just discovered her boyfriend and Sekai together and cutting back to her house, she is knitting either a sweater or a scarf. She is discussing to herself about why Makoto and Sekai were together on the roof. Kokoro enters the room and asks about the school fair.

Back at the school, Hikari tells her classmates about the other classes doing a themed cafe and Setsuna decides to up the game. Hikari has Makoto volunteer to help out Setsuna. Makoto and Setsuna walk through the hallway and see Kotonoha in one classroom. He doesn't say hi to her or nothing. In gym class, someone has snuck into the storage with a camera in her hands. Where will this lead to? Hmmm.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, exactly. Lots of very humiliating videos. And to think, this was before cell phone cameras were so widespread.

GearsX: I'm feeling dirty having to talk about it later on. Kotonoha catches up with Makoto and asks him about seeing her later on but Setsuna says no. Spoilers: he fucks her too! Man, Setsuna's a cold-hearted bitch.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Wow, damn. Yeah, that is cold.

GearsX: Prepare to hate her even more because she blocks Kotonoha's number on Makoto's cell. She had no business blocking her number on Makoto's phone!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah. It's not even her phone. Damned bitch.

GearsX: Sekai told her she didn't have to do that. Back at the Katsura residence, Kokoro sees her older sister doing some more knitting but she's actually starting to lose it.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, she's losing her damn mind, and we all know whose fault it is, don't we?

GearsX: It's Makoto's fault. When Setsuna arrives back at her place, everything is all packed up. She's going to France, that is all. When Kotonoha tries to call Makoto, she discovers her number was blocked on her phone. Her sanity is decomposing faster than a corpse baking in the hot sun.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah. I feel like Nine Inch Nails' The Downward Spiral would be the perfect soundtrack album for this review.

GearsX: That poor girl. She deserves better. She tries to call him again but still no luck.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: No fucking luck, because he doesn't even know her number was blocked. And he probably doesn't care to know.

GearsX: Back in class, Sekai is wearing a waitress uniform and Taisuke is being all creepy about it, but Hikari gave him a good punch to the head.  

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Good, he deserves worse.

GearsX: Every student is prepping for the school fair. Kotonoha was ordered to grab some sheets. I think we all know what the sheets are used for.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, exactly.

GearsX: As she goes to grab the sheets, Kotonoha runs into Makoto and Setsuna. Makoto stares at her boobs since her shirt was sopping wet from the rain. Setsuna keeps telling him he is Sekai's boyfriend now, but he walks off to get her. He sees her talking to his best friend and then they go into the supply closet. Taisuke gets a first row look at her panties while Hikari is getting pissed off. Taisuke asks Kotonoha out to the folk dance while still being all creepy. Hikari is emotionally crushed. Kotonoha and Taisuke argue over her relationship with Makoto then she runs off.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: And shit follows. Because it always does here.

GearsX: Man, Taisuke's such an asswipe. Kotonoha sees Makoto and she's all happy, but Nanami cockblocks her, pretty much accusing her of being a whore. The poor little girl runs off crying. Makoto rides the train while unblocking his girlfriend's phone number. Kotonoha shows up at Makoto's apartment and talks with him. Once again, he is lying to her about how his cell was acting up when it was actually blocked by Setsuna! What a lying little shitbag! Keep making up excuses, you little asswipe! Anyway, Kotonoha asks Makoto for a dance during the last day of the school carnival while Sekai is getting all weepy like a baby. Someone get that girl a baby bottle and a pacifier. Sekai storms off and gets slapped by Kotonoha. Another sign of things to come.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Or the Waaaaambulance, as it were. And yes, it is a sign of things to come, especially since Kotonoha takes it much further than slapping in the end.

GearsX: Finally, we get to episode eight. It's the day of the school carnival. We meet up with Sekai and Setsuna at the park, discussing about her getting a slap to the face by Kotonoha. Setsuna tells her she's gonna meet up with Makoto. In school, Makoto and Taisuke talk about his relationship with Kotonoha.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: And what do the assholes have to say for themselves?

GearsX: Why they haven't broken up yet.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah?

GearsX: Yeah. At Sekai's place, she has a flashback about what happened the previous night. After getting slapped, Sekai apologizes to Kotonoha but she is not in a forgiving mood. She's hurt, betrayed, and tells Sekai to stay the hell away from Makoto. We both know she's not gonna listen and Sekai has no remorse for sleeping with Makoto. It's rant time again! You take it from here!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, fine, I'll do it. That is the worst apology I've heard in a while, and being the astute follower of politics that I am, I've heard some shitty apologies in my day. Good on Kotonoha for not falling for that bullshit, because that’s all it is --- bullshit! She’s still going to fuck around with Makoto, still hurting and betraying Kotonoha with that motherfucking waste of pixels and animation! The both of them deserve the most painful and brutal end possible, and for those of you who know how this sick farce ends, I am sorely looking forward to it! Blood for blood, and by the gallons!

GearsX: Couldn't have said it better myself. We'll be celebratin' death in the third and final part but for now, let's trudge through episode eight and end this second part of the review.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Sure.

GearsX: Kotonoha asks Makoto if they can walk home together but Setsuna says no. Makoto can't really speak for himself and Setsuna loves cockblocking Kotonoha. We're getting signs of Makoto being a bit nicer to Kotonoha, but it's too little, too late. You, asswipe, don't get our sympathies.   We're gonna skip this discussion between Makoto and Setsuna because it's boring and I don't give a shit about them.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Indeed. I'm just biding my time now.

GearsX: Makoto arrives at Sekai's place and he stares at her Radish waitress uniform. Creepy. We get another exposition dump and moving on. I will say she asks Makoto if what they are doing is bad, but as I said and Spidercide said earlier, Sekai doesn't have a pang of remorse for sleeping with Makoto. Sekai and Setsuna talk about Makoto and Kotonoha and moving on. Sekai comes back to school as the preparations for the school fair nigh complete.

As the train comes to a stop, Kotonoha boards it. She just happy to sit next to her beau as he starts down at her cleavage. Get this, she actually offers him to touch her bare boobs. I thought she had more self-respect than that. After getting through more waste of time, the school fair begins! As Kotonoha speaks with Katou and her friends, two customers show up to use the break room. The break room is being used as a cheap-ass hotel room where they are bangin' each other.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yes, and it's being recorded, too, via hidden camera. To be shown to the entire class later.

GearsX: Who would set up a break room to be used as a VIP room at a strip joint at a school fair?

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Some very fucked-up teenagers, but then I've heard similar stories in real life.

GearsX: It doesn't make any sense. Something like that may happen at a house party but not at a school fair. We get a pointless scene where we see a three-way fight between themed cafes. It adds nothing to the plot and it’s a complete throwaway.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, but it does at least establish the environment of the setting.

GearsX: Of how batshit retarded they all are?

ImpulsiveSidercide: Ok, if we wanna go there, sure.

GearsX: This scene is just not funny, movin' on.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yes. Let's.

GearsX: Makoto stays to help out Setsuna to fix everything up. She tells him she's moving to France because her mother got a job transfer or somethin', it's never revealed. Setsuna tells Makoto to take care of Sekai when she's gone, yakkity-schmackity. Cutting to the chase, Makoto is all tuckered out and Setsuna slips him the tongue. Da End!

Fuckin' eh, that was the worst four episodes we slogged through. The problems are still the same; all the characters are unlikable except for Kotonoha, padded out scenes, more exposition dumps, and things had just gotten worse.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah, with Setsuna kissing Makoto while he's passed out and sleeping.

GearsX: Everything is wibbling and wobbling for School Days. This anime has really brought the rage out of us and we still have episodes nine through twelve to get through. The rage is really gonna come out in part three and when we do the character analysis, the beast is gonna come out and play.

ImpulsiveSpidercide: Yeah. The beast will be uncaged!

GearsX: The apocalyptic destruction of School Days will reach its conclusion. The end is nigh for School Days! Its death will be slow and painful! Until next time, this is GearsX and his rage clockin' out!

ImpulsiveSpidercide: And ImpulsiveSpidercide, who will be trying to find something to wash the bad taste of School Days out of his mouth. Peace . . . if you can find some.
Dark Ranters Reviews: School Days Part 2
Part two of the School Days review. Let the pulverizing of this anime continue! To check out part one, go here: impulsivespidercide.deviantart…
  • Listening to: Heavy metal
  • Reading: graphic novels
  • Watching: anything I like
  • Playing: N/A as of now
  • Eating: depends on what I like
  • Drinking: depends what I like
I don't usually play tag but I'll play along just for the hell of it.

Tagged by ::iconninjaheart::

1. What would you call your spirit animal? That's a tough one. 

2. Worst video game boss you've ever fought?  The Octaking from Duke Nukem Forever. Hardest boss I ever faced.

3. Kingdom Hearts or Devil May Cry?  I'm goin' with Devil May Cry

4. Most overrated franchise in your opinion? Halo. Just kill the damn series already.

5. What's your favorite movie?  The Avengers!

6. Do you like My Little Pony?  If not, why?  My Little Pony is awesome!

7. What martial art would you like to master? That's another tough one

8. What's the most annoying commercial you've ever seen?  Those Trojan Vibration commercials.

9. Would you rather fight a shark or an alligator?  Wrestling a gator sounds like fun.

10. Do you think the moon landing was fake? I don't believe so.

Now here's my ten questions:

1. Who is your all time favorite fictional character (comic book, anime, cartoon, or video game)?

2. Who would win in a race: Sonic the Hedgehog, Rainbow Dash, or The Flash?

3. Who is your favorite internet reviewer?

4. How would you deal with the robot apocalypse?

5. Do you prefer dogs, cats, or both?

6. What is the worst food you ever ate?

7. Jeff Dunham or Larry the Cable Guy?

8: Which franchise would you like to see brought back?

9. Which gaming system do you wanna see win this generation's console wars?

10. If you were in a RPG, what class would you be?

Those are my ten questions.

Consider yourselves tagged:

:iconimpulsivespidercide:: ::iconzangekyo-rebirth:: ::iconmarvelninja:: ::iconhewytoonmore:: ::iconpeacethroughpower:: ::iconphoenixangelgal::::icontrainman3985:: ::iconaonon:: ::iconmrchickenblue:: ::iconmelodieaw::


United States
Current Residence: Norwich, CT
Favorite genre of music: Heavy Metal
Operating System: Window XP
Favorite cartoon character: The Joker
Personal Quote: Truth is the ultimate weapon

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PEACETHROUGHPOWER Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2015
Happy B-day. :)
GearsX Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2015
PEACETHROUGHPOWER Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015
No problem
LegacyGame Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Professional General Artist
By the power of the Almighty Jolly Llama you have been chosen to receive  :+llama: Now go forth and spread the light of the jolly llama, chosen one! 
GearsX Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
Thanks for the Llama
PEACETHROUGHPOWER Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014
Happy Birthday :)
GearsX Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014
PEACETHROUGHPOWER Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014
No problem :>
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